Changing Ourselves

Over the last 30 years, I have probably gone over hundreds of books and articles about motivation and positive thinking.  A lot of them dispense good advice, but many are really just ‘feel good’ articles.  You are more unique, or talented that you think yourself, so feel self confident, and don’t be afraid of failure.  However, while this kind of advice works for some, it did not do good for others.  When you encourage people to not just walk, but jump and fly, its great, because some people really found that they can fly. Its not so great, because  some people really can’t.  I know lots of people who have good jobs, but who quit and start to put their life savings into a business, only to fail, and face financial hardships.

What I am going to write now is not a feel good, but a feel bad article.  When things don’t go well, people don’t want to feel that its their fault.   Nobody wants to hear that they really are the problem.  But when things are not going as well as it should, or sometimes even much worse than you ever imagined, and things are falling apart, including the sky coming down, there are 2 attitudes that you can take:  First is that there is nothing wrong with you, and everything is caused by bad circumstances, or other people who are not willing to support you.   Or the second is to assume that you have this problem because you have a weakness or made a mistake, and the key to solving the problem is really to start with yourself changing your attitude or your direction.

Trying to assess whether you did the right thing, or even being honest whether you were at fault is very painful. It is almost like trying to rub salt on a wound that you already have.  But it can be necessary. The more intelligent a person is, sometimes the more he is in denial.  But sometimes just plainly being honest with yourself, and understanding your limitations could well be the antidote you are looking fro to heal yourself. 

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